What do you do when you have two dogs who are complete opposites?
A big, quiet internalizer who bottles everything up, and a tiny firecracker trying to control the entire world. That was Marie-José’s challenge. And what she learned is valuable for anyone with a dog.
The quiet Oscar: when a dog doesn’t ask for help
Oscar is a Podenco Ibicenco: a Spanish hunting dog who had already been through a lot as a puppy. He’s gentle, introverted, and withdrawn. When there’s tension at home, he shuts down. He doesn’t bark. He rarely growls. And because of that, everyone saw him as “the easy, calm dog.”
But through coaching, Marie-José discovered Oscar was exhausted. He had taken on a role that wasn’t his: trying to manage Nel’s chaos, even though he wasn’t equipped for it. He did everything with high intensity, not because he liked it, but because he didn’t know any other way.
“Everyone thought Oscar was so open,” says Marie-José. “So we were all basically draining him without realizing it.”
It sounds funny, but it hits something important: quiet dogs are consistently misunderstood. Their boundaries aren’t seen. And the stress keeps building.
Nel: the small dog with a big responsibility
Nel is the complete opposite of Oscar. She’s four kilos of energy, alertness, and control. She decided when Marie-José ate, when she went to bed, and where Oscar was allowed to lie. She even bit people in the forest when they tried to pet her, and people would say, “It’s fine, she’s just a small dog.”
But it’s not fine. Not because of the bite, but because of what it says about the dog. Nel was overwhelmed. Her stress was so high that Marie-José feared she wouldn’t survive.
“She was completely tense. I didn’t even see it.”
A small dog that bites experiences just as much stress as a large dog that bites. The damage may differ: the level of distress is the same.
How do you communicate with an introvert AND an extrovert dog?
This was the core of the coaching: tailored communication.
Oscar needed softness, patience, and space. Too much pressure pushed him away.
Nel needed clarity, structure, and leadership, so she could finally stop carrying that responsibility herself.
The approach was different for each dog, but the foundation was the same: mutual respect.
And it started with Marie-José.
She learned to recognize when Nel crossed boundaries and simply said:
“No Nel, not necessary.”
And Nel walked away.
She learned to give Oscar space, and actively support him when Nel crossed his limits.
The moment everything clicked
Marie-José describes a moment that says it all: Oscar and Nel lying next to each other on the mat in the morning: picture perfect.
But what she didn’t see before: Nel had first stood by Oscar’s mat, pulled at his paws, then looked at Marie-José.
Marie-José calmly said: “No Nel, not necessary.”
And Nel walked away.
Oscar now looks at Marie-José, with big round eyes when he’s uncomfortable, or half-closed when he’s okay.
“Now they both look at me first,” she says. “They both ask me.”
That’s communication.
That’s trust.
That’s what coaching creates.
Your dog as a mirror: what your dog is telling you
A core theme: dogs mirror their owner.
The calmer Marie-José became, the calmer Oscar and Nel became.
The ease she now feels walking them - loose leash, effortless - is the result of inner work.
That can be confronting.
It means that if your dog is restless, there may be something for you to explore too.
Not as blame - but as an invitation.
“It’s my pack,” says Marie-José. “Everything I bring into this house or do with my dogs - I’m responsible for that. And that’s okay.”
What you can take from this
Whether you have a quiet Oscar, a fiery Nel, or both:
- Quiet dogs need just as much help as reactive dogs - they just don’t ask for it
- Small dogs deserve the same serious approach as large dogs
- Clarity and consistency are the foundation of safety
- You are the anchor: the calmer and clearer you are, the better your dog can thrive
Do you also have two dogs that are completely different?
Or do you recognize the pattern of the quiet dog that suppresses everything - or the reactive one that takes over?
👉 Listen to the Animals Faith podcast — the full conversation with Marie-José is inside.
👉 Interested in the Membership with Coaching? Book a discovery call.